A Little Lost in Space

Slowly the rhythms for this fall seem to be coming together. I tend to have a vision for the year but I plan seasonally — or if I do plan for the year, I end up scrapping most of it by the time the current season is waning.

In the morning we focus on math and Latin. First I work on Algebra and Euclid with Clare. This takes probably 45 minutes to an hour; we start at 9:30. We usually wrap it up or let it dwindle out by talking about “everythingintheuniverse.” Honestly, this is a nice “peg” for communications since it is her time.

Meanwhile, theoretically, Sean and Kieron are supposed to be doing Latin and Math. So far, Latin has been Quia. Math, for Kieron, has been Quia drills, so far. Sean, 13, works out of Key to Algebra. He is on the fourth book, factoring polynomials. As time goes on we will try to move deeper into these subjects, but for right now, it takes about 15 minutes of their time. Paddy, 3, not to be left out, does Quia Alphabet Matches. He is getting really good at them. He also likes Pokemon Concentration and is pretty good there, too. He and Aidan are both really getting more interested in being read to and Paddy especially is advancing towards the Frog and Toad and Little Bear listening stage. So in odd pockets of the day I am reading to them too.

After Clare’s overview I check on the boys, remind about chores and math etc..

Then I read to Brendan: Witness to Hope. He is reading Common Sense Logic on his own. And working on his story.
At 10:30 Clare gives Kieron a piano lesson. She spends a lot of time on music in addition to this. And she has been sewing quite a bit. With literature, history, science, Latin and religion as well, she is feeling a bit stressed by time management.
After lunch Kevin and I go for a walk with the little ones and anyone else who wants to — usually Clare.

In the mid-afternoon I take a rest and sometimes Paddy naps.

Then the day has been sort of fizzling out, if there aren’t errands or other things to do. Which there are several days a week. Monday is library and market and post office day, Thursday is therapy and choir day, and Friday is Stations of the Cross. And there’s usually some random appointment in there somewhere else. So I guess it’s just a couple of fizzling days.

However, I am feeling I am not challenged enough. Partly it’s because others seem to be rushing around with lots to do. There is lots of planning going on and I am sort of un-planning. But also, I think it’s one of those times that one gets a bit bored and uneasy because one is in a transition. It happens to the kids sometimes so there’s no reason it shouldn’t happen to me.

I am trying to plan books for the boys this year. But while I’m planning, they’re already reading, and reading good things, too. Still, they seem to have time left over for an informal Lost in Space unit study including personality quiz. And Sean is reviving his football fantasy league from last year.

Maybe some of these sites I found accidentally while searching for other things will be helpful to me sometime.

• Frog and Toad Literature Theme
• Quia Math
• Fifth Grade Math
• Fifth Grade Skills
• Online Basic Math

On Music and Learning

My daughter Clare, who is 16, has talked for a long time off and on about how she would like to see our church choir sing some more traditional songs. She joined the adult choir rather than the teen choir primarily because the teen choir tends to sing LifeTeen songs. With all due respect to contemporary Christian music, she has a lot to say about how it is not especially suitable for contemplation at Mass. Here's a summary of some of what Cardinal Ratzinger said on this; here's some things in his own words.

Unfortunately, she finds that even the adult choir prefers standard post-Vatican II Catholic fare -- which is, many agree, not exactly quality music.

So she's been planning to try to convince them to sing some of the old beautiful music -- something more like this. Last week she printed out Ave Verum Corpus by Mozart and pondered it wistfully, wondering how best to persuade a group of active, admirable post-Vatican II people 25 years her senior to try what appears to be called a motet with four parts, without sounding condescending or critical or just way too challenging. She spent several hours trying to pick out the soprano part on the piano while she simultaneously sang the alto. Challenging would be an apt word. She has never even sung an alto harmony before. But she persisted. I offered to try to sing the soprano so she could keep her whole attention on the alto.

I admit, it was about more than being a helpful mother. It was for me, too. Coming from a vibrant Protestant evangelical tradition, growing up whole-heartedly singing first-rate hymns like Fairest Lord Jesus and Holy, Holy, Holy, it has been a real mortification to get accustomed to a weekly half-hearted intoning of Ashes or I Am the Bread of Life. As to the latter, honestly, my Protestant sensibilities are offended by singing in persona Christi and hearing from my crade-Catholic husband and children, it is not just the Protestant that is outraged. And as to the former song, while it has a pretty melody, this "create ourselves anew" bit is simply not Catholic orthodoxy, and it is a bit banal and sappy even from a secular perspective.

So we tried this soprano-alto arrangement, and found that I was stretching beyond my range on the soprano while she was struggling with the alto. Her range is several notes higher than mine. So we ended up switching. I have never sung an alto harmony either. I make plenty of humbling mistakes, especially since I usually learn music FAST. THis learning process is not fast. But when we get it together for a few notes, it sounds beautiful.... so beautiful.

What's this post about? I don't think I have a point, really....

• I could talk about John Holt "Learning All the Time" -- I'm 43 and JUST learning to sing a supporting part. And it is a good experience. Never too late. Anything worth doing is worth doing badly, as Chesterton says.
  
• I could talk about teens in what Dorothy Sayers called the "Poetic" stage -- but in this context, it would probably be rather too patronizing about my daughter, who has gone beyond her family in understanding and love for beautiful old music.
• I could talk about the importance of a hobby or vocational interest in the life of a teenager
• I could talk about self-directed interests and where they come from and where they can lead. Where will it lead for Clare? She aspires to much and it is all unfolding under God's providence.
  
• I could talk about how wonderful it is to TRY to sing in harmony, how it reminds me of a relationship, and how multi-part singing IS a relationship -- what Sandra Dodd called Leaning on a Truck or Parallel Play -- or CS Lewis talked about as friendship -- two people cooperating and working on something different from and in a way bigger than either of them.
• And just look at the words of Ave Verum Corpus. Just reading or saying them is a prayer; and singing is praying twice; and singing in reverent, multi-part a capella seems to be something like what the angels might do. We are blessed to have such music in our Church treasure-house. Why do only a few people remember it is there, or value it as the treasure it is?

But I'll let it stand as it is. In 10 or 20 years it will be interesting to look back, and see where God has led the Catholic Church compared to where it is now, and what part my youngsters or yours have had in where it has gone to.

The Essentials

As usual, I find out what I am thinking when I’m writing (so what am I doing when I’m just sitting around???)

I wrote a post in response to a question about streamlining the homeschool curriculum and in doing so defined pretty much the essence of our homeschool, such as it is.

Once Leonie sent me a review of the Robinson Curriculum (Leonie has been a mentor of mine for years and years)

We don’t use the Robinson Curriculum in that I haven’t bought their CD-set and I don’t really know their book choices. However, the review describes a pared-down but still academically demanding type of course of studies mostly based on reading, writing and math. Our most successful years in the homeschool have generally been when we condense down to those core subjects and then, as you say, expand out from there. (Forming children in Religion is part of my duties as a mom so I think of it in different and broader terms than a normal school subject — just mentioning that so that you know I’m not bypassing it).

For the actual book choices I use the 4reallearning booklist and Mater Amabilis as a starting point. For the older kids I use something like this but tailored to the individual interests and abilities of the kids.

It has not compromised our academics. It seems to prepare them well. I wish I could do the unit studies and fun projects but I function better at helping them, the kids, design their own research projects and hands-on activities rather than originating them myself The pared down approach gives me more time for that facilitating and for the discussions which I increasingly value as a mode of learning and discipling.

In addition to this, later on I wrote out a rough categorization:

• Religion (tied to what I call the philosophical habit — looking at the big picture, mindfulness, integrity of heart, mind, will– sorry, that’s a bit bombastic sounding but there it is)
• Academics — Reading, WRiting, Arithmetic
• Life Skills — character, ethics and practical know-how and common sense — basically, how to live a worthwhile life.
• Talents/Gifts/Interests — development of these would be based on the individual child, and on what our own family and circumstances can offer.

Obviously, these areas would overlap considerably. Obviously also, if I started listing out all the things one could do that are remotely connected to one of these categories, the list could multiply out of control and not be streamlined anymore. That’s why when I find myself wandering through a haze of all the possible options, it helps me to consolidate considerably and go back to the core of what I’m trying to do.

When I think of grammar, spelling, handwriting etc, for instance…. I think “for a season.” They are part of the whole writing picture and they may look different with different children at different times. For example, my oldest FINALLY has a neat, attractive handwriting. For years it was legible but not very nice looking. And he is 20! But who cares, in the bigger picture? Believe me, I’ve seen enough doctors’ prescriptions to know…

With all these categories, I mostly unschool but I guess in an eclectic way. I usually end up calling it the tip of the iceberg theory (I grew up in the frozen north).

Related:

Real Learning on the Beauty of Unit Studies
Literature, Themes and Learning from Living Without School

I thought I had another post somewhere about how we use a literature core and make connections out from there, but I can’t find it right now. Oh, here it is! I think, anyway.

Sunday and Monday

At Saturday vigil mass I met up with someone whom I’d met before at the West Coast Catholic CM campout. She and her family were up camping in this area with a church group and had not known we lived up here. So on Sunday we went over to our local lake to hang around on the beach with them for part of the afternoon. It was fun and made me realize how seldom we get to do that. We talked about getting together again sometime either here or in her area in the southern part of CA.

Aidan just LOVED the water. First the kids went in the rubber raft our friends had and then I gave Aidan his inflatable tire. He spent the whole time in the shallows sitting in the tire being sloshed around by the wakes from different power boats. Of course, when everyone else was ready to go home, he did not want to and SHRIEKED. I’m torn in these cases between wondering whether this is a disciplinary issue or a special needs issue. Either way, (1) anything we can do to help him manage these strong emotions reasonably will be of benefit to him and (2) he obviously has a real craving for this kind of experience, since he is usually not so ferocious in his reactions. It is a very positive healthy kind of experience in itself so perhaps we need to find more ways to let him partake. I imagine some of his sensory cravings are addressed by the water play and also that the transitions in themselves are difficult for him but he has learned to cope most of the time. Anyway….. just thinking out loud. Lissa at Lilting House has a conversation about Discipline and Special Needs going on. To me it comes down to the fact that discipline and management are very close to the same thing in practice usually, or ought to be. But I don’t like those words too much because they mean so many different things to different people.

Yesterday, Aidan had a neurosurgery clinic at 11 am which takes up most of the day as follows. 9 am I start dressing the two little ones and getting together stuff to bring like change of clothes, seizure meds, books, bottled water etc. Load the car with the coolers and Aidan’s horrendously heavy wheelchair. Then at 9:40 strap them into their car seats, say goodbye to the older kids. Then drive for a bit more than an hour. Kevin unloads Aidan and me avec wheelchair and we go into the hospital while he and Paddy make a Costco run.

When you walk into a clinic and it is packed with people overflowing into the halls you know you are going to have a wait. We sat beside a mom and dad and grandma with a little boy with a trach, and chatted a bit about complex kids etc. They were G-tube feeding which opened the conversation because Aidan — who had been in a stressed out conversational loop “Where’s Dad gone?” “Where are we going after clinic?” “What will we put in the back of the car?” and don’t change the answers whatever you do — gasped and said, “I don’t have MY G Tube anymore.” So the grandma said, “You had a g tube?” and Aidan said, “It’s all gone now.” and so we started talking about feeding tubes and formula etc.

So we got out of there at 12:15 (only about 10 minutes was the actual appointment, the rest was the waiting room) and then drove over to Winco where Kevin took Aidan in to do some quick shopping and I stayed in the car to keep it cool in the 100 plus degree weather (since the costco stuff had already had to wait an hour in the cooler and would have to wait an hour more on the drive home).

Anyway, we got home about 2:30 and then zipped over to the hardware store to try to replenish our propane tank for the BBQ — for the third time and again no luck, someone was having about 20 keys made (!!!).

With the remnants of the day I did not do very much. Today we are back to our normal routine.

Clare has been reading Count of Monte Cristo. It is HUGE – about 1000 pages. What is it with these French romantic-period authors? Les Miserables was the same.

Sean is reading the Anthropos Archives, or rather, rereading.

Brendan has been reading Father Brown mysteries. So yesterday they watched The Detective. Their nightly watching has been Lost in Space. Ooh, I wonder if my husband has seen that link.

My husband has been taking daily walks with various of the kids (not the little ones, obviously).

Liam sounds like he is re-adjusting pretty well. Enjoying his classes and getting to talk with some of his comrades from last year.

We seem to be falling into a slightly structured academic pattern this year. Clare of course is driving her own vehicle because she really wants to prepare for entrance to TAC. Sean seems resigned to doing a bit of math. I intend to spring a bit of grammar on him. The older kids went through a good bit of Daily Grammar and it really worked pretty well for them. We have tried a LOT of grammar programs! Maybe someday I’ll list them all. That one was one of the more successful and least repellent to them.

Keys for Motivation

Maureen asked me to go into more detail about my Habit #5 about fostering motivation by balancing freedom and discipline. I got the "balancing freedom and discipline" bit from a book I've recently read called Small is Beautiful. It's a book about human economics but the section on education is stellar.

Anyway, pondering all this along with Maureen's Seven Habits themes made me think that several of Covey's original Seven Habits have influenced me deeply in thinking about REAL learning and true education. Also, I was just reading a book by Dr Phil called Seven Keys for Successful Weight Loss. So here goes -- none of this is at all new, most of it is derived from various mentors in my life, but here's a bit of what I think :

First, the preliminary: Changing the Paradigm.

There is a primary and secondary kind of success. The primary kind is what comes from within -- character traits, development of natural talents, managing weaknesses. The secondary type is what society and other people recognize as success. They may well interrelate. Good work ethic may well lead to worldly success and admiration. However, it is important not to mistake one for the other.

What's that to do with motivation? Well, not much directly -- but it is something to keep in mind, and stops a homeschool from going on all sorts of false trails --- excelling for prideful reasons, out of fear, or comparing one's homeschool to others. Trying to make a kid into what you wanted to be, or what his dad wants him to be, or into something you can point to and say "See what I did!"

Second, a vision and plan -- Intentionality.

You can't invent a child from scratch, God already did that, and you can't mold him like Pygmalion did, but you can have a deep influence on him. It's important to think through what you can control, what you can influence, and what would be excessive management.

All this being said, it is within your area of control and influence to have a vision for your homeschool. Hopefully this is broad enough to encompass a variety of different outcomes, but within a general framework. This vision is implemented by sorting through priorities and working actively to implement them.

That's a lot of jargon. But what it comes down to is -- what will you do day to day, and why? This is very important in motivation for kids, I think -- both the day to day AND the why part. In my experience kids want to know how the big picture and the nitty-gritty relate to each other, and the lessons learned from that are among the most important things to learn in life.

So I think it's good to continually reflect on this kind of thing. It would be impossible to always do so. We operate a lot of the time from habits and assumptions; they save time and effort. But when something seems "wrong" -- the child isn't acting as expected, or he IS doing what's expected but for some reason you don't feel right about it.... those may be the times to check whether your ideals and your daily practice are matching up. This seems to be an ongoing process of living.

Third, think Win/Win

I've found this one to be extremely important in homeschooling and in parenting. When we talk about motivating kids, what we usually mean is motivating kids to do what we think they ought to do. So "un-motivated" really means that the kid is motivated to, say, lie around; play video games; harass his little brother. We want him to be reading/excelling in his schoolwork/being a light and inspiration to his little siblings.

The win/win helps me steer through these seeming locks. A win/win is NOT the same as a compromise. Here I'll depart from Covey's format somewhat because his "seek first to understand, then to be understood" helps me implement this principle.

Since this is getting long, I'll finish some other time!

This Week

Sunday we brought Liam back to college. A long trip; takes 10 hours in all, so we didn’t get back until 12 hours after we left.

Monday was a quiet day….. recovering.

Tuesday, Sean was really sick with a fever and chills and aches.

Wednesday, Aidan had his physical therapy appointment in town, so we also went shopping.

Thursday, Aidan’s occupational therapist came, and also, Kevin took several of the children to McKinley Grove. Pictures do not do justice to a sequoia grove. We are fortunate indeed to live so close to one.

Friday, today, we have Homeschool group meeting. I am SO not into it today but I know I should do it. Those “SHOULDS”! Rephrase — I am choosing to make the effort to drive down there even though my inclinations tell me to stay home and veg out. I know it will be a worthwhile choice and I will be glad I did it.

We started up — hmm, I usually say “school” but it’s not quite the word. Home lessons? Studies might be the most appropriate — “learning” doesn’t apply because of course, we learn every waking hour : ).

Anyway, Kieron and Sean are doing math and Latin and Clare has started up a regular course of studies. This is her idea. Her subjects:

• Latin using Henle 1.
• Math — Jacob’s Algebra 1 (it’s partly review so she’s going through 2 lessons a day)
• Geometry — Euclid
• Literature — her own book choices.
• Religion — she is apparently reading What Jesus Saw from the Cross, since it is missing from my closet. She also wants to read the Summa.
• Science and History we are still trying to work out.
• Music, Drama, Composition — unschooling covers that without a problem.

High School Literature

Maureen Wittman on High School Literature
-- the comments are not to be missed.

I haven't read all the suggestions yet, but my high school lit core is based on Kolbe Academy's and I wrote out some of it a couple of years ago at the Classical Co-op. Check out the other families' plans as well. Plus, Lene Mahler Jaqua has a list of 20th century literature for jr high/high school at her Classical Christian Homeschool Digest (the link is at the top and leads to a pdf document)

Someday I need to write out in more detail how we flexed this for the individual students. My 2 oldest sons have both graduated and each took the basic core curriculum and expanded/rabbit trailed on it in different ways. Here's a post about my oldest's senior year. My daughter, presently a high school junior, is mostly designing her own. She loves literature and I don't think I could make a better plan for her than she is making for herself. I will try to write it out or ask her if she would like to.

The Seven Saboteurs

Here are the Seven Saboteurs of my Seven Habits for Effective Homeschooling. (anyone seen the Seven Samurai? It’s a family favorite) I thought I would post them here to remind me where I usually fall off the wagon. I don’t do these all every day, or rarely! and once in a while one or two of them works all right, but when I really have problems, I can usually trace it to one or more of these culprits:

1. Waking up at 3 am to worry about childrens’ futures and forgetting to pray or make realistic plans OR staying up till 3 am on the computer wasting time.
2. Getting on the computer first thing in the morning and staying on there until the little ones are squabbling and the middle ones are asking what’s for breakfast and everyone has lost all their motivation to make the most of the day.
3. Skipping breakfast and then grazing on junk food and then drinking coffee to counter the carb drag and then being too tired to exercise– which brings me back to #2, as often as not.
4. Letting the day slip-slide away without getting anything done.
5. Lock-stepping through the day with such attention to the schedule that I miss the gold and silver mothering moments. (done both, sometimes in the same 24 hours).
6. Theorizing too much and not doing enough day to day things
7. Conversely, getting mired in the here and now and not planning and working for the future.

Looks like balance is the key here, folks. Can I have order and routine without getting myself invested in it? Can I make time in the here and now for the big vision? Can I prepare and plan for the future without worrying and stressing? Can I put God in first place in the day, not squeeze Him into the odd moments? Can I treat my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, not merely as a low-caliber fueled transportation vehicle for my soul?

Can I FOCUS? I think most of it comes down to that.

Why I Have Not Been Blogging

Haven't been blogging much....
These were Liam's last weeks before returning to college.






























Oh, Liam, we do miss you! Many blessings on your sophomore year!

Seven Habits for the School Year

Seven Habits of Highly Effective School Years at Maureen's Trinity Prep School. Hers is great and she has also linked to many more.

Back last spring, I made a rough list of Principles which I will now try to tweak and smooth into Habits or Dispositions.

1. Habit of seeking the "good, true and beautiful."
2. Habit of attentiveness. Pay attention; observe; be there.
3. Habit of keeping priorities straight -- putting first things first, seeing the big picture and so on. Also known as the philosophical habit of mind.
4. Habit of order. This is what helps me out with the detail part of the big picture.
5. Habit of fostering motivation and the responsible use of the will by balancing freedom and discipline.
6. Habit of relationships. All human interactions, all knowledge of subjects, indeed all sentences or thoughts are composed of relationships of one thing to another.
7. Habit of simplicity. Start small.... less is more.... small can be beautiful. You don't have to do it all to be successful.

My motto for this year is the late Pope John Paul II's: "Be not afraid."

Literature Theme Approach -- old post

(an old post I wrote about how to use a literature theme approach in a homeschool with more than one child).
I think you CAN teach them the same topic if that works out. I taught two of my kids together for a long time until one of them starting feeling too competitive with the other. A lot of CM people do literature based unit studies where they read various books on the same topics or related topics. You can choose some books geared to the 7yo and some geared to the 10yo — the older child benefits from hearing or reading some more “basic” books while the younger one can be stretched by hearing more difficult books read
aloud and hearing his mother and older sibling discussing them.

A “literature based” unit study is more books, narration and copywork than “hands-on”, though you can still include as many hands on projects as you want or as your kids can think up. I used to find it easier to have my kids plan the hands on stuff they *wanted* to do, rather than me plan it for them. Their motivation was higher and it made me feel less frustrated if the project didn’t work out. You can have the kids take turns narrating,
or the older child could do an oral or visual presentation of what he’s read for his independent reading.

Elizabeth’s booklist is good for theme-based or author-based literature units. You can take a given month, then choose one book to read aloud together and have the other books be silent readers or enrichment reading. You can find non-fiction books or articles in the library to supplement the month’s literature, and then think through what to cover in terms of:

• history (a timeline book, perhaps);
• geography (looking up the place in the
  atlas or on the globe);
• science, if that is relevant;
• art, poetry… you can take passages from the books for copywork and dictation.
• You can choose related topics to use to develop research and library skills.

However, you don’t *have* to use the unit approach to be CM– you can also approach it the Ambleside or Mater Amabilis way, and have several books going on in various subjects at the same time, letting the kids make their own connections. That’s more how I do it now.

Choosing curricula — whether to continue what you’ve been doing, or start anew every year.

I’m not sure — I’ve done both. You could continue math and that kind of subject using the same books you have been using… or keep your history or science book, but just use it as a “spine” or starting point, finding “real books” to supplement and develop the ideas.
>
Figuring out a schedule and making it work.
Here’s how I do it with my 8yo and 11yo.

They start their lesson time at about 9 am, after breakfast, chores etc. I read aloud to them (a book chosen for my 8yo’s level– presently reading Charlotte’s Web) during breakfast. This is just for fun, no narration. Then I get my 11yo started on his math lesson, which takes about 10 minutes.
He sets his timer for 20 minutes for independent work, and while he’s working, I go over math with my 8yo. We do the bulk of his math together, using Miquon Math which is more manipulative and concept-oriented, and MCP Math which is more drill. We review past lessons for a couple of minutes. Then I give him a few problems to work on his own. In addition, I work with him for about 10 minutes on catechism and Latin vocabulary
memorization.

Then he gets a short break while I start working with my 11yo. With him I work on very short lessons of Latin, Logic, Grammar and Greek (about 10 minutes each at most). That’s his infusion of classical studies .

hen he does his independent reading — presently he is using Old World and America for a spine history text, reading Howard Pyle’s King Arthur for literature, and Faith and Life and the Gospel of St Matthew & Schuster’s Bible History for religion. I need to start him on a saint’s biography because his religion is rather dry to him right now. His science I won’t
mention because it’s not working very well — so today I had him read one of the simple science books from our shelves. I’ll have to adjust this subject, I think. Both the kids do some informal nature study but we’ve never really had formal nature study in our school until high school level — we do it more on an interest-based level of getting out the field
guides, etc

Meanwhile, while he’s reading, I am either working with the 8yo — reading Child’s History of the World, then a short language lesson (Primary Language Lessons, MCP Phonics, or CHC Language of God for Little Folks), then the 8yo does some silent reading of his own, OR I’m spending some time with the two preschoolers.

Finally, I hear my 6th grader’s narrations and work with him on written narration/composition skills. He does some copywork either by hand or on the typewriter. The same then with my 3rd grader, except he doesn’t write his own narrations. We try to finish by noon because in the afternoon I have to work with my 3 highschoolers (though two of them are pretty independent). Sometimes we have to pick it up in the afternoon, though, or sometimes a subject goes on longer than usual because of interest, and then
I skip one of the other subjects.

About whether you can have a read aloud going independent of the “theme” or unit.

I think so!! Everything doesn’t HAVE to be related to the main topic. If you think about how we *really* learn ourselves, we do sometimes get interested in a topic or need to find out more about it and so devote a lot of time to that topic, but we are usually learning other things at the same time as well. In fact, sometimes I read a book just for a change from whatever I’m focusing on. It can be almost stressful to concentrate just on one thing, especially if it’s something not intrinsically interesting to that person.

Dawdling and disobedience — how you cope with it.
>
Hmm, I don’t have a dawdler right now. I do have kids who don’t seem exactly motivated to do school and try to hurry through as fast as they can. I’ve tried interest-led learning, micro-managed -by -Mom learning, and everything in between, and really what’s worked best, though not ideally, is a balance between the two. I give them assignments — what I sincerely think is valuable and worthwhile for them to learn — but they can give me
feedback, and I sometimes change my approach depending on whether their feedback is constructive or not. They know that if their feedback is negative — whining, complaining disobedience, sloppy work — that I won’t be flexible unless they become more positive. It’s my job also to be interested in what they are interested in, at least to some extent. That’s
the other side of the coin — that I pay attention to what they like and enjoy, and I participate in their activities IF they want me to be involved.

My experience has been that a very young child wants to be interested in the things his mom is interested in, and really TRIES though he sometimes has a short attention span and some conceptual difficulties that make his job difficult. I really work in those ages on being flexible and sharing the learning experience rather than pushing through X pages of X book. I also work hard on making each lesson end on success — if they are struggling, I stop and go backwards to where their “comfort level” is, so they can restore their confidence level.

A slightly older child, ages 9 to 13 or so, seems to have a latent and argumentative period. They don’t want to be challenged very much, they ask “Why do I have to learn this?”, they seem to want to get off with the minimum effort so they can go about their lives. But they are usually a lot more intellectually capable than the young child; they just don’t seem
to want to be pushed too much. They want equilibrium, it seems, at least in my experience. I try to challenge them a little and build some perseverance, but I do also try to take into account that this is a transition period intellectually and they need lots of down time. Physical activity — sports etc — and household jobs are a good alternate way to
build fortitude and a cooperative spirit at that age.

Then a teenager, again in my experience, seems to get past the “latent”period and develop strong academic or creative impulses. They may still argue or even rebel, but they usually have their own ideas about what learning *should* be, even if their ideas are still immature. They often develop a strong interest in something which carries them through and provides motivation for the less pleasant subjects, and they have usually internalized some type of sense of duty, though sometimes it’s hard to see. Some of them get restless and want to test themselves in the real world more and more, and it *seems* like rebellion when it may just be frustrated or poorly channelled energy and drive. Often they want to do things their own way, rather than the mom’s. But you can have really great discussions
with teenagers — they are honest and idealistic.

And usually, at that point you can see the time and effort you spent in their younger years bearing some fruit. My teenagers will say things that make me realize that the books they complained about or seemed to half-listen to in the younger years were really being absorbed very deeply. Just one example — I read “If All the Swords of England” to my 10 and 12yo several years ago. They seemed to squirm through it, especially my then
10yo — but now she tells me it was pivotal in her spiritual life and made her realize the glory of being a witness or martyr (it’s about ST THomas Becket). I would never have predicted that outcome and thought the book was mostly a wash for her. I have other, similar examples. So my thought is that that 9 to 13yo age is a foundation age for building a worldview, even though it’s easy for the mom to get discouraged and think absolutely nothing is sinking in — that all the kid wants to do is argue or slip out of things.

As always, please take what is useful and discard the rest, because families are so different and what works for one may not work for another — I’ve sure found that out during the years.

Classical Education and Unschooling reprise

A very good post on Collaborative Learning Stages by Apple Stars

"I believe our homeschooling lives progressed from an unschooling paradigm to a natural stage of being ready for a more structured/goal-oriented setting achieved through a collaborative paradigm with adult mentor. I feel it represents a more “organic” paradigm of “natural stages” of learning versus an “overachiever” paradigm I feel is associated with the classical educational approach. I feel it represents a more interconnected paradigm of mentor based collaboration of learning versus an “island onto themselves” paradigm I feel is sometimes associated with the unschooling approach."

Movies and Music and Miscellaneous

I have gotten behind on updating my journal here. Partly it is because our days seem to follow a fairly predictable pattern, so I was finding myself writing the same sorts of things again and again. I think in future, unless we get into a very different pattern of life, I’ll focus more on the things that are different within the framework.

For now I wanted to make a quick run-down of what’s going on in our house.

I have been trying to spend more time watching movies with Clare. Movie-watching is not my thing, but I guess it does not hurt to stretch. I bought her the DVD of Pride and Prejudice since we were at #72 or something in the country library waiting list. So the other day I made Redwall Autumn Oat Favourites and we sat and watched. A bonus to watching a video with Clare and Sean is that they will linger over the funny parts and watch them again and again and make up elaborate, wildly humorous stories about them.

The other day Supaseo came — if you remember, the first one was warped and so Liam had sent for another one. So we got to watch the rest and see the trailer and the premiere slideshow, and the outtakes, which was fun. Article about Patrick Seo here

Today we watched Andrew Lloyd Webber: The Royal Albert Hall Celebration. It’s funny how Sean and Paddy watched most of it, too, Paddy dancing to part of it.

Kieron and Sean are rereading The Prydain Chronicles. Our old set fell apart and I ended up buying new (used) ones.

Clare has been listening to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on CD. It is cute though a bit sappy.

They are making progress on their movie.

Brendan is on part 2 of his second book. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the completion of his first book. Go Brendan!!!!

Nothing much else. Sean has decided not to do football this year. A disappointment to his coach and honestly, to us. He is so good. But we are supporting him on that. It means a quieter summer and I am feeling a bit bored by the quietness of our life. One of my goals this year is to get more involved in community life around here.

OH, and book organizing! I have found a shelf for every book, which is amazing! All except for the picture books. I have one low shelf where I intend to rotate through and change the books occasionally, until we have more shelving for them.

I have a SORT of system…. it is starting to come together in broad outline. Now I need to sub-categorize. It’s OK if that takes a long time. She says.

Unschooling and Reflecting On How to Live

We were having visitors and travelling last month and so I missed out on writing an entry for Unschooling Voices #2. Besides, I wasn’t sure if I had anything to write… Ron wrote it all out for me at Atypical Homeschool in a post called Unschooling and Parenting. Like Ron and Andrea, my husband and I were practicing mostly attachment parenting before we knew what it was called. And it was working. AP took several years to seep into our educational method, though, or rather into mine. (My husband has always been sort of an unschooler at heart.)

But I’m writing now, realizing that unschooling has seeped into other areas of my life. Not my parenting, but MY life. Sandra Dodd calls it Deschooling for Parents. “Weird Al says it a different way in “Everything You Know is Wrong,” and Christians say “You must surrender yourself.” Before that Jesus said, “Unless you become as a little child…””

Last year I read tons of popular psychology or self-help books, and productivity manuals, both the office kind and the home kind. OK, I may have gone a bit overboard. It was a way to think through how I saw unschooling and to restrain my desire to start structuring and assigning again. However, it was time well spent in several ways. For one thing, it was interesting how much they accorded with unschooling, how different the life wisdom described in these manuals was from the conventional wisdom about education.

For example, “Kids won’t learn X or Y unless they are forced to.” But the research in the psychology and productivity books leads to the conclusion that force and “shoulds” and “musts” usually backfire. They lower morale, invite passive resistance or subversion, and leach out incentive. Well, I wonder. If this is true of grown-ups, is it more true or less true of children? Or perhaps, equally true?

Aside from whether it was true of my children, I realized that it was true of ME. Why do I go through life listening to internal voices tell me I “should” or “shouldn’t” do this or that? Should is such a weak, carping word. I realized that if I do something because I “should” (or “have-to”), then I barely scrape by as an adequate human being, and if I DON’T do it, then I’m not even that (but at least I’m guiltily happy about not kowtowing to the tyrannic should ). An example of a book that talks about the energy-leaching effect of “shoulds” and “musts” is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

Another book I read called The Chilldhood Roots of Adult Happiness talks about how to give children a chance to build joyful adult lives. ” Hallowell argues that kids do not need straight As, a crammed schedule of extracurricular activities or even a traditional family in order to become contented adults. What children really need, according to the author, are unconditional love from someone (not necessarily a parent) and the opportunity to revel in the magic and play of childhood. Kids do not need perfect lives, and learn from adversity and failure, but for the best chance of future happiness, Hallowell says, they need five basic tenets: to feel connected, to play, to practice, attain mastery and receive recognition. It’s easy to get caught up in the “great riptide that sucks kids out of childhood and into an achievement fast lane as early as nursery school,” Hallowell warns. Instead, he says, parents should focus on social/emotional health and happiness, creating an environment in which kids are free to “develop the muscles of confidence, optimism and hope.”

This is so much of what unschooling is about. Not grades or crammed schedules, but a chance to develop relationships, to play; time and space to develop interests and build increasing skills in those areas. One could argue that happiness is not what life ought to be about, but classical and Christian tradition would say that it is precisely what life is about. It is what every human seeks; the question is HOW to best seek and find it. School teaches us that we are preparing ourselves to be “educated”, to be prepared for the work world, to get a good job. But I don’t want my children to seek happiness in status, in searches for love, in material things, even in their intellectual prowess. Sure, these things can help people be happy; but the operative word is “help”. There are lots of rich, powerful, attractive, intelligent people who are not happy at all, which demonstrates pretty conclusively that Aristotle was right when he said these things are not what bring joy. Sandra Dodd’s unschooling article Joy — Rejecting a Pre-Packaged Life discusses this; and it’s as much a life lesson as an unschooling lesson. She writes:

“Here’s a little paradigm shift for you to practice on. Perhaps happiness shouldn’t be the primary goal. Try joy. Try the idea that it might be enJOYable to cook, to set the table, to see your family, rather than the idea that you’ll be happy after dinner’s done and cleaned up. My guess is that such happiness might last a couple of seconds before you look around and see something else between you and happiness. Joy, though, can be ongoing, and can be felt before, during and after the meeting of goals. “

So these unschooling things have been helping me in my own life; not that they were all brand new but that they were affirmed and restated for me through reading about unschooling, and about psychology and philosophy. Many of them are also profoundly about how I understand my Catholic faith.

• Choices and options rather than “have to’s”
• Joy rather than any of its substitutes.
• Relationships, play, mastery and recognition rather than emotional and intellectual dependency, confusion and conditional self-esteem.
• And one more — Unschooling celebrates and enjoys the uniqueness of each child, each family. It celebrates freedom. One more book I read recently, Letters to a Young Catholic, talks about “freedom for excellence“. We learn to be free by practicing freedom. Another way to describe it is as living by principles, not simply by rules.
• Being there rather than always in the past or future or somewhere out in space.
• Trusting rather than coercing (this one is a healthy eating connection) “the Division of Responsibility for feeding: parents are responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding and children are responsible for the how much and whether of eating”

Irish Ballad: Fields of Athenry

My daughter has formed a relationship with history through her love for Irish and Scottish ballads (she has both Irish and Scottish in her ancestry). One of her favorites is Fields of Athenry. It is written by Pete St John and definitively sung by Paddy Reilly. It dates from the time of the great Potato Famine in Ireland (I hadn't known it, but there was also a potato famine in the Scottish Highlands at the same time, only not so severe and politically exacerbated).

By a lonely prison wall, I heard a young girl calling,
"Michael, they have taken you away.
For you stole Trevalyn' s corn,
So the young might see the morn,
Now a prison ship lies waiting in the bay."

Chorus
Low lie the fields of Athenry,
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing,
We had dreams and songs to sing,
It's so lonely 'round the fields of Athenry.

By a lonely prison wall, I heard a young man calling,
"Nothing matters, Mary, when you're free.
'gainst the famine and the Crown
I rebelled, they run me down.
Now you must raise our children with dignity."

Chorus

By a lonely harbour wall, she watched the last star falling,
As the prison ship sailed out against the sky,
For she'll live and hope and pray
For her love in Botany Bay.
It's so lonely around the fields of Athenry.

The beautiful photo is by Sean Tomkins, a self-taught Galway photographer. The link leads to several other pics of his work.

Related Posts: Grace

Liam's Senior Year History/Literature/Religion

We used Kolbe’s 12th grade literature last year. WE made some changes.

Tolstoy was great… the short story choices. I was thrilled myself to find this wonderful Christian author. I will read more of them myself in future. We particularly liked “Master and Man”.

A Day in the Life of Ivan Denosovich was also a treasure. The language was a bit coarse in parts, at least in our edition. Of course, the situation is very bleak — a prisoner in a gulag. But the story itself is surprisingly uplifting, showing the power of the human spirit. It was a witness to me.

WE didn’t read Crime and Punishment. I started reading it — it was just too grim for my son who is a bit scrupulous. He can wait till he’s older to get through that one.

He read Huckleberry Finn and House of Seven Gables. Both very good. Also TS Eliot. I’m not sure what he thought of him.

We took a side tack and read some British Literature — PRide and Prejudice (he’s only read one Jane Austen book, I know, I know!) and some Chesterton and Lewis. He has read a couple of their books every year during high school. They are almost all worth reading.

WE had the MODG British Lit syllabus but he had already read most of the books in there, so I used it for my daughter instead. But if you want to glance at their booklist and see if it helps you, go to the Mother of Divine Grace website and scroll down to 12th grade booklist (or just use the direct link).

Oh, and I carefully chose a couple of Flannery O’Connor stories for him to read. She is such a good writer, one of my favorites — but most of her stories are pretty shocking. I think I had him read “The River” and “Temple of the Holy Ghost” and “The Enduring Chill”.

Oh, and I also had him read Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” so we could discuss the secular short story writer.

Finally, he read “Shadow of His Wings” about a Catholic priest in the German army. The timing was neat because he read it just after Benedict XVI was elected.

Oh, and he read Orwell’s Animal Farm rather than 1984. We have an essay by CS Lewis which explains why he thinks ANimal Farm to be a better book than 1984, even though it’s a “fable” and usually read by junior highers. Anyway, I remember 1984 being very shocking and depressing to me as a college student with its nihilist ending and so I just avoided that for my senior. I wanted this year to be a sort of wrap up year for him where he was dealing with putting all the pieces together, but I thought all the ugliness of modern lit could wait until college.

Along with these literature choices I had him read a bunch of books on literary analysis. We hadn’t done a lit ana class during high school. So he read CS LEwis “On Stories” JRR TOlkien “On Fairy Stories” Flannery O’Connor “Mystery and Manners” A book by a Jesuit priest called “Norms for the Novel” (there’s a shorter book on the same theme by the same priest published by Kolbe called “Tenets for Readers and REviewers” that Liam read a couple of years ago). Finally, he read “Poetic Knowledge” by James Taylor and “Escape from Scepticism” by Christopher Derrick.

I think there is more but my mind has gone blank. WE didn’t do the history component of Kolbe. I had him do MODG’s American Government and Economics. Appropriate for him, but very dry and I don’t think I’d recommend it to a burned out student like your daughter. I want to tweak it before I use it for my second son.

For religion, he read “Story of a Soul” Augustine’s “Confessions” Adrienne von Speyr’s “Confession” — we skipped the Cure d’Ars Little Catechisms because I thought it would feed his scrupulous tendencies, and he’d already read the GKC selection on the Kolbe lineup. He also spent the year reading and outlining Msr Glenn’s “Tour of the Summa”.

Oh, and one more thing — I had planned for him to read “Witness to Hope” the bio of JPII as a sort of spine history of the 20th century but we ran out of time.

Next Year

The Bookworm is planning for next year -- I like her approach so I'm listing out the links to her Next Year series (so far) on here:

Keeping it Together
Planning a Planning Day

Plans for Next Year

Next Year: Maths
Next Year: French and Latin

Next Year: History (Angel)
Next Year: History (Star)

Next Year: English

Next Year: Schedule
Next Year: More about the Schedule

Unschooling Voices is Up

Unschooling Voices #2

Who could ask for anything more?

A classic pro-homeschool rant by a writer I admire very much, and good coffee. Great start to the day!

I recognized my kids in her description. They are not perfect kids and we don’t have a perfect homeschool, but… They have opinions! They enjoy learning! They get absorbed in things and when they participate in classes and teams, they are not a drag and a discipline problem but rather are a plus to the group and display a great work ethic! They think things through! If that’s weird, maybe it’s our society that has some work to do on “normalizing”. Let’s get it straight, folks. Homeschooling is not a threat to society unless “threat” is defined as “standing outside the herd mentality”. I thought our public schools were formed to raise leaders, principled citizens and achievers. That is the rhetoric, anyway. If that’s what our homeschools are doing, why can’t we get credit for our civic efforts?

BTW: I know I’ve been off-duty in this blog. I meant to write every day if possible, but a combination of a heat-wave, and an organizational spree, and planning for next year and, um, stressing (why do I do that to myself) has left me AWOL.

Why Do We Homeschool?

If you want to be affirmed in your conviction that homeschooling can be the right choice, in spite of the occasional prejudiced and uninformed critic and the argument-stopping "homeschoolers turn out weird", look at Julie of Bravewriter's blog for today.

She writes:

If this is what is meant by weirdness through homeschooling, give our kids the diploma right now! Kids who look adults in the eye when they speak. Kids who read classic literature during the summer because they can’t wait to read the books, not because it is a “summer reading assignment.” Kids who think taking an online writing class is fun. Kids who play classical music on the piano and rock n’ roll riffs on the electric guitar in the same day. Kids who think that they are in charge of their educations, not that someone else is supposed to be. Kids who don’t know what it is to bully someone, to be hateful and mean to “fit in.” Kids who haven’t been told they are stupid, behind, lazy or rebellious just because they learn at different rates than the class. Kids who don’t know they have big noses, or are too short, or that they live in a small house, or that sharing a bedroom is bad, or that they should hate their little sisters. Kids who know how to entertain themselves for hours without any adult supervision. Kids who don’t go to college unless they have a good reason. Kids who wear modest clothing or funky outfits because they don’t feel pressure to conform. Kids who think hanging out with a parent is a treat, not a punishment. Kids who receive rave reviews from relatives, bosses, and teachers for being engaged learners. Kids who include other kids of any age bracket in their games and parties. Kids who speak their opinions with confidence that someone will take them seriously. Kids who have opinions! Kids who have opinions based on their own research and reading. Kids, in short, who know themselves better than the demands of a peer group, who believe that education is valuable, who imagine that they can choose their futures. Revise that. Aforementioned blogging male was right. Our homeschooled kids aren’t just weird. They’re freaks!

In the same line, here's an oldie but goodie from Here in the Bonny Glen

Joy is Something You Decide to Do

From Kim at Starry Sky Ranch:

I am firmly convinced "happy" is a verb. As my friend Elizabeth says it is a decision we make everyday to wake up and do it all over again. Not only to do it all, but to do it with the acknowledgement of the blessing hidden inside every trial. We have to decide if this is "monotonous, lonely, and relentless" or if is it an embarassment of riches. We are swimming in blessing if we just open our eyes and embrace it. Shame on us when we neglect to notice. Another Day in Paradise

GK Chesterton writes on the idea of "Conditional Joy" that joy is dependent upon gratitude:

"It is not familiarity but comparison that breeds contempt. And all such captious comparisons are ultimately based on the strange and staggering heresy that a human being has a right to dandelions; that in some extraordinary fashion we can demand the very pick of all the dandelions in the garden of Paradise; that we owe no thanks for them at all and need feel no wonder at them at all."

"Pessimism is not in being tired of evil but in being tired of good. Despair does not lie in being weary of suffering, but in being weary of joy. It is when for some reason or other the good things in a society no longer work that the society begins to decline; when its food does not feed, when its cures do not cure, when its blessings refuse to bless."

"In everything worth having, even in every pleasure, there is a point of pain or tedium that must be survived, so that the pleasure may revive and endure. . . . The point is, that if a man is bored in the first five minutes he must go on and force himself to be happy. "

Lord, today help me to notice the blessings I am swimming in.