tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15843479.post1389734752501735582..comments2023-09-11T01:59:23.810-07:00Comments on Sierra Highlands: Charlotte Mason: Diversion and RestWillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17374272000644968446noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15843479.post-39486350531254632542008-07-16T08:26:00.000-07:002008-07-16T08:26:00.000-07:00I SO appreciate the thoughtful comments.Yes, I had...I SO appreciate the thoughtful comments.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I hadn't thought about it before, but there is a distinction between "distraction" and "diversion" .<BR/><BR/>One saint talks about the necessity of "recreation" -- which Miss Mason uses as a synonym for "diversion" in this part of the book. You've probably read it -- how the saint compared the human need for recreation to the "relaxing of a bow" -- if it was stretched all the time, it would eventually get weaker rather than stronger (it's <A HREF="http://everywakinghour.blogspot.com/2008/01/prudence-practical-syllogisms-play.html" REL="nofollow">here, scroll down</A>)<BR/><BR/>Recreation is a sort of restoration process, not an indulgence, if it's not overdone. <BR/><BR/>So I think diversion implies a force that is merely channeled a different way, while distraction actually implies a scattering of powers in all directions, like a shower without pressure.<BR/><BR/>I think that not understanding the difference between the two was the reason I used to feel a bit ashamed of moving outside of a power struggle -- either with my children or with my own self. I thought it was sort of a distraction, almost like a retreat. <BR/><BR/>A retreat would be disengaging altogether -- simply going "whatever" or finding some equally problematic substitute for the temptation "I am giving up sweets, so I will go and drink too much coffee instead." "If you don't cry for that toy, I will give you some M&Ms." : D<BR/><BR/>But a diversion would be more a matter of rallying the forces, trying a different approach, shaking the situation up a bit. <BR/><BR/>Just trying to think it out in light of what Stephanie and Laura said. Sometimes I find it gets muddled in practice, but being aware that there IS a difference seems to help-- in the long run, if not always in every particular situation. <BR/><BR/>I think with children I usually measure effectiveness by what helps them build up their own strength in the long run. I suppose that is true of my own struggles, too... hmm..Willahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17374272000644968446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15843479.post-43418125572489258612008-07-16T06:43:00.000-07:002008-07-16T06:43:00.000-07:00This is true and helpful, Willa. I was raised in ...This is true and helpful, Willa. I was raised in that confrontational sort of way, and it took me a while to unlearn it. I think I started to get the picture when I realized that I had a child for whom *any* argument just fed the fire. I finally realized that it took two to argue, and learned that it wasn't such a bad thing to divert. It also works for my own temptations ;-).<BR/><BR/>I do like your distinction, Stephanie, between diversion and flitting around. I had wondered about that, too, when I first encountered Miss Mason, and soon realized she was using the word in a different way.Laura Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08168905598871608315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15843479.post-69717094410170630082008-07-15T21:10:00.000-07:002008-07-15T21:10:00.000-07:00I especially like the comparison between temptatio...I especially like the comparison between temptation and "the locked-in child". Very helpful!Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04500724701139176293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15843479.post-24679546988166361912008-07-15T10:07:00.000-07:002008-07-15T10:07:00.000-07:00Thank you for sharing your reactions to Charlotte ...Thank you for sharing your reactions to Charlotte Mason. I enjoyed Stephanie's thoughts, too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15843479.post-44224537524509205602008-07-15T08:41:00.000-07:002008-07-15T08:41:00.000-07:00This is a really interesting run of posts, Willa. ...This is a really interesting run of posts, Willa. I want to thank you for it.<BR/><BR/>That whole diversion thing ... it's captured my attention too. Two seemingly opposing thoughts always come in when I think about this.<BR/><BR/>First, we have a far too easily distracted culture. Everything in popular media (with the ironic exception of computer games - ha!) encourages us to pay attention until something else glittery passes by, and then follow that. We get wowed and carried away and we lose attention when we're simply tired of it. <BR/><BR/>So ... at first, I have to remember that this business of finding something else to do when genuinely exhausted or when becoming fascinated with wrong-doing ... this is not the same as flitting around and never paying attention. Heaven knows our Miss Mason was AAAALLL about the focus of attention!<BR/><BR/>But the other thing is a little hint I read once in a Montessori supply catalog - or in a book recommended? Where did I read that? It's this:<BR/><BR/>When you teach your child to obey the instruction, "no," you need to teach that this means, "do something else," and not, "I'm mad at you." The child learns that an avenue of behavior being cut off and made unavailable is the moment for finding something acceptable to do. It's not a contest of the wills between the parent and the child, but between the child and the child. (Is this making sense?)<BR/><BR/>If our kids can learn that the "cure" (if you will) for "bad" options (including the worn out power of attention) is the free and simple choice of finding something else to do, then the child has been give great powers of avoiding temptations to all kinds of things, don't you think?Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04163649031423865626noreply@blogger.com