Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Shyness and Homeschooling

Empowering Shy Children

My son is shy and gets upset every morning before school. Everyone tells me that making him go to school will eventually get him out of his shyness, but my instincts tell me that homeschooling would be better for him. What should I do?

Shyness is not overcome by forcing a child into an uncomfortable situation and surrounding him with 25 to 30 same-aged peers every day for 6 to 8 hours. Shyness is overcome by gradual interaction and acceptance of a few close friends and the steady introduction of new people and new situations when a child is ready. By slowly building your son's interactions with new people and situations, he will become more confident and better able to adapt to the new experiences he will face as he grows older.


Ah, the sociazlization thing... Well, that is another issue that you will have to find what meets the needs of all the members of your family. One person might need a lot of time with friends, while another may prefer being solitary or just with family most of the time. If you are relatively introverted, and your child is extroverted, then seeking out classes and playdates might be a good idea. If you are afraid that your child will turn into an introvert if you don't throw activities his way every second, think about it this way: If you let your child express his natural social tendancies, and listen to his needs, then you can adjust your social structure to fit. Think of it as working from the inside-out, rather than creating a social structure, then expecting your child to adapt, which is what schools do.

If you're worried about success in life after they leave the nest, wouldn't they be better prepared to meet their daily and life needs if they were raised to do that, rather than handed their social life, and handed their "have tos" every day, where they don't have to worry about what really matters, they just go with what they are taught and what/who happens to be put in the same room as them?

Why Nerds are Unpopular

Homeschool Leads to Social Deficiency?
(message board: the consensus was that you can be shy and schooled, or homeschooled or non-shy, or basically any combination of the two. But, my favorite answer--)
I have been approached by numerous people who say that homeschooling leads to a decreased ability for the child to interact properly with other children. Is there any substance to this accusation? I think there is a degree of truth to that.
In my opinion, it's an excellent trade-off from the alternative.

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