Classical Balancing

I'm essentially a "classical" homeschooler. That hasn't changed. Yet, this blog is about unschooling. Is there a contradiction there? That's a big question, something I've been thinking about quite a bit.

First of all, I believe the methods are largely determined by the goal. My goal is for my kids to reach heaven. That rules out any educational method that fosters self-will or its manifestations, like pride and sloth. I don't want my kids to receive a great academic education and use that as an excuse to pat themselves on the back and look down on anyone else. I don't want my kids to be driven and perfectionistic. I don't want them to be arrogant. Neither do I want them to be impulsive, to follow the appetite of the moment, to be sterilely curious and intellectual thrill-seekers.

What I do want:

• I want them to love God and progress in virtue.
• I want them to set high standards for themselves but be patient and meticulous about how they reach those standards.
• I want them to be motivated to learn, not jaded and uninterested by anything that seems that it could be difficult.
• I want them to have an ability and desire to continue to learn and grow and improve.

In pursuit of these goals I've gone on some false starts and reached some dead ends. But it's always been in the service of these things.

This summer I read "Homeschooling with Gentleness" which is a brief read but makes a case for a Catholic approach to unschooling. -- personalistic, family-ordered, with the final goal being a good education. I had been growing concerned about some trends I was noticing in our homeschool. I felt I was putting my role as Mom on the back burner. I was not discipling so much as administering. I had little energy to spare for listening to the kids or following their interests or encouraging them to expand their horizons. We weren't talking much, and I was always in a hurry.

Plus, I realized I had three teenagers who could do standard household chores pretty well but weren't learning as many "deeper" life skills as I had wanted them to, because things like that take some quality time and I felt like I always had to be on to the next thing.

So those are the things I am looking towards unschooling for:

• Pursuing personal interests, making discoveries.
• A mentoring relationship with my kids.
• Some joy and time to just sit and watch or listen.
• Some real-world, not-specifically-academic experience.
• Self-direction, self-understanding
  
• A voluntary choice of the better over the worse, with learning and everything
  

I think lots of people can have it both ways -- structured lessons AND motivated kids AND lots of time left for mentoring and enthuasiasm -- but I seem to balance by going to one side then the other. These days I'm on the "informal-learning" side of the balance. .... thus, unschooling. If I can find a way to make it work with my goals permanently, I'll stay there. Right now I'm using, I guess, the "tools" of unschooling while the "goals" and even psychology is quite classical.