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Discussion Question:-----------------------------------
(from the Catholic Charlotte Mason e-list)
What really is necessary and what distracts you from your highest calling--bringing your children to the Lord? What clutters your life, spiritually and educationally ?How can we recommit to home and family in order to live in a rich lively and learning environment?
my reply (spring of the Jubilee Year 2000)
I've been asking myself these same questions recently, and I think that the key to balancing "richness" and "simplicity" is as you say -- discerning what is distracting from relationships and what is helpful in building them. I suppose the answer is different from family to family and at different seasons of our lives.
I'm sitting here in my room with Aidan asleep on our bed. He is surrounded by: an IV pole, a feeding pump, an oxygen/heartrate monitor, and several shelves full of assorted medical paraphenalia. Downstairs is an oxygen tank that looks like a fair-sized torpedo and is just as decorative ;-). Aidan's daily schedule involves multiple medications, physical and oral therapy, and constant vigilance; our calendar is full of appointments with various specialists. Clutter, yes, most definitely, especially in comparison with our other babies who required little besides diapers, a place on the bed, and cuddling and nourishment from me. But definitely necessary clutter, since it is necessary to Aidan.
However, all this "stuff" would be just junk if we, Aidan's family, were not committed to taking the time and effort to using it for his benefit. And for any of our other babies, the equipment and medical appointments would be unnecessary and in some cases harmful; it would detract from their well being instead of adding to it.
What I'm saying is that in creating a home-centered or family-centered environment we are going to have to be constantly, actively shaping our environment to fit our family. Someday Aidan won't need oxygen and then it would be stupid to keep a big tank in our living room just because it brings back memories. But I do this all the time with old clothes or coloring books. He already doesn't need many of the medications he used to require, but it wouldn't make much sense to keep them around for future need; however, I am constantly tempted to keep around the evidence of old hobbies long outgrown, or curriculum that I just had to have that never suited our family style.
On the other hand, there is the "essential" clutter, the clutter that does add to life, though sometimes that is the most annoying kind because it's the kind that's always underfoot. There's those Legos all over the table that my 11yo plays with by the hour; there's the stuffed cats I am always finding in my bed because my 7yo has a habit of coming to visit me first thing in the morning with his "pets". There are times when I am tempted to stuff all this kind of clutter and hide it somewhere, just so I won't have to deal with it every day. But that would be kind of like throwing out Aidan's syringes or feed bags, which he uses every day and which are necessary for his well being.
I'm trying to think of simplifying and family-centering our atmosphere as an ongoing process rather than a one-time thing that I can do and then be done with. One practical idea that has helped me is short lessons in decluttering (similar to what Flylady calls "baby steps" -- whenever I have a spare 10 or 15 minutes, sorting through a drawer or a shelf in the closet, rather than waiting until we are wading through piles. This is also a good time to reflect on how our family is changing and growing and how I can make our living space better reflect our changing needs.
Aidan is still home and doing well-- the longest he's ever been out of the hospital at a time is 2.5 weeks, so we are praying he will at least stay home through Easter Week -- that will be a record -- 3 weeks!
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