Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Coming Home

When you get home from a hospital stay it usually takes some time to re-integrate into the family. I have learned to just ignore most or all of what needs to be done and just focus on the essentials. …. cuddling, listening, soothing, watching (the older kids always want to tell me something or have me look at something).

I realize what nice kids I have. I nursed most of them for several years and even when the nursing relationship is over, there is a sort of residue of openness and trust, a kind of mutual receptiveness. Even during the teenage, “de-satellizing” years (as Owl put it). Even though I’m an introverted, not-particularly-demonstrative-or-naturally-wonderful mother.

(Aidan had to stop nursing after 4 weeks because of his medical problems and so I’ve tried hard to mother him as much as possible the same way as I would a nursling — carrying him everywhere so he could look and interact and reach and shift his weight as I moved; looking into his eyes and holding him while his formula was going into his stomach by way of his G-Tube. I think it did help. I don’t think it’s JUST about nursing but I do think that nourishing and nurturing relationship helps).

It’s good to be around this evening as Liam bakes bread, Clare plays her violin and invites Aidan to watch a movie trailer with her, Brendan shows me the rune-language he invented for the villains in his fantasy story, Sean stumbles in laughing on unsteady feet after a grueling football practice, and Paddy, still poxed from the varicella, asks for more stories. Kieron says, “It’s noisier and so much more fun when Aidan’s around.” He’s right. Everyone at home adds a charge to the air. You can feel it when they’re around and it’s an emptiness when they’re not.

OH: and Clare finished HP and the DH — that’s her reaction but don’t look if you haven’t read the book. It’s funny to hear the kids try to discuss plot points cryptically enough so that Kevin or I (me?) won’t have it ruined for us. I personally don’t mind finding out what happens before I read a book, but I only know one other person who feels that way about it, and it’s not Kevin.